Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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