I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize