um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
