Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
