Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
