She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
