38 yer olds are good kisserssss
smell my finger.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
