Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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