Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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