Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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