She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
