im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
