I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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