Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
