The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
