guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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