I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
