I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize