i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
