Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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