It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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