Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept

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(773): I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept http://tfl.nu/49pe

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.

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(202): also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker. http://tfl.nu/m532

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(503): View more from Oregon

my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"

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(503): my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal" http://tfl.nu/pkcw

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(727): View more from Florida

I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.

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(727): I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was. http://tfl.nu/ul38

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(641): View more from Iowa

I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.

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(641): I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting. http://tfl.nu/pz3u

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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?

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(407): I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!? http://tfl.nu/85fy

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(330): View more from Ohio

Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.

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(330): Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome. http://tfl.nu/sdp2

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(970): View more from Colorado

my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned

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(970): my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned http://tfl.nu/3gli

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand

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(781): what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand http://tfl.nu/hzsn

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day

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(414): Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day http://tfl.nu/nn34

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(423): View more from Tennessee

All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.

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(423): All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited. http://tfl.nu/itw0

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(828): View more from North Carolina

is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?

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(828): is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear? http://tfl.nu/pkiy

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(434): View more from Virginia

This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.

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(434): This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened. http://tfl.nu/f3s1

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(203): View more from Connecticut

MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.

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(203): MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over. http://tfl.nu/zav4

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(510): View more from California

my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.

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(510): my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore. http://tfl.nu/307f

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