he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
