i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
