youre lurking in front of me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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