Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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