Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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