You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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