I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
