I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
