we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
