im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
