Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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