Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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