im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize