I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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