I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Go after that dick
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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