their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Bring me that man meat
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
