it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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