So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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