there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
