yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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