Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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