i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
