atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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