If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize