I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
only you would photoshop your dick
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
