Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
