Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
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He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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