definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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