i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Drunk is a universal language darling
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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