I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
