all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
MIDGETS
????
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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