Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
