She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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