My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
