this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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