Sry I called you an 8
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
