I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize