Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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