i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize