So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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