so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
