just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
