I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize