you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
