Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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