Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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