Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
