Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
