Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
