your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
