Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
