I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
