TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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