My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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